The Journey towards Self-Love

“In a society that profits from self hate loving yourself is a rebellious act-This is the one quote that I saw on pinterest and ever since my view of life has changed” is what many expect self love or gaining self esteem is like.Let me assure life isn’t a perfect phenomen where each journey can be put in one simple quote; but I can surely try to put mine in an article:)

I am a 15 year old and many might question my boldness to write an article about self esteem. But quite frankly I think teenagers are the main targets of low self esteem. A few days ago only I saw my cousin- keeping in mind that she is only 13 compare the size of her thighs to a 27 year old Victoria Secret Model. If you think that’s extreme, buckle up because I have seen it all, teens  forcing themselves to throw up everything that they’d eaten that morning,desperate to be thin; trying so hard to be perfect. 

‘Perfect’. Every single time I hear this phrase my heart shatters into a million pieces. Hearing my cousins and friends talk about wanting to lose weight buying designer brands like some necessities they needed to fit in. I always considered myself rebellious. I mean yes my family made me very conscious about how much I weighed,but I never let it get to me. Every time I looked into the mirror I hated what I saw, everything they told me was wrong with me, seemed true and I know that what was happening was wrong. I always wanted to shout at the top of my lungs and say “Have you met me?”. It takes seconds for everyone to tell how pale my skin is, how weird my birthmark is but no one seemed to appreciate who I really was. 

All they did was condense my potential, my calbour into what my body looked like and that crushed me every single day. I have a lot of expectations from myself because I know my worth and my potential inside and out. But for a very long time I let myself down. I had really wrong friends and to be honest I still believe that my friends aren’t the perfect fit for me. To cope with everything that everyone made me believe was wrong with my life I began imagining a life after high school where I could make the type of friends I wanted and be the person I wanted to be.

Soon, one afternoon I thought to myself self-esteem is just based on our own thoughts of ourselves and I knew that we could control our own thoughts, so I thought, “Yeah,maybe I could actually start to build my own self-esteem, and I was willing to try. So every day I looked in the mirror and told myself 10 things I love about me and I did it for 2 years.

Currently I don’t talk to any of my friends on a daily basis, I am on the journey of loving my own body and I have huge plans for myself like writing a book on self love and even starting a podcast.But I still don’t believe that my self esteem is at its highest. I have a long journey ahead and I aim to love every second of it.