Breakups & Mental Health

It’s okay to not be okay after a breakup. It can take months or even years for people to move on. However, it’s important to watch your mental health during the journey of loving yourself after you lose someone you love. Here is the basic psychology following a breakup.

Grief & Depression

The first feeling after a breakup is usually shock. Shock is the body’s natural protection against pain. you may not be ready to mentally deal with the idea of living without them as your romantic partner. Stage 2 is denial and usually comes instantly after shock. denial is rejection of reality and a storage of feelings. You think that if you don’t accept the heartbreak, it didn’t really happen. isolation, anger and bargaining come right after stage 2, usually all at once. It’s weird because the psychological stages after a breakup are really similar to the stages after death.

Grief can be triggered by a loss or seperation from a loved one or romantic partner and lasts longer than regular sadness. this grief, however, can essentially cause depressive-type symptoms lasting from days to several months

It is very common of people  to confuse grief with depression after a breakup. That’s not to say that depression is impossible after such of a loss, however it is more common to just be in the grief stage.


Think about who you are without your partner. do they bring out the best of you or the worst? many people after a breakup, especially if they were the ones that got “dumped”, start getting self conscious and questioning their self worth. The three basic ways to do
good, or revive, your self esteem are surrounding yourself with loved ones, reminding yourself that you will be worth it to some people and not to others–that’s natural, and lastly, let yourself heal. be open to your feelings and don’t try to avoid them. This flows right into our next topic–substance abuse.

Substance Abuse

According to many research studies online, breakups increase substance abuse in individuals. experiencing a breakup is directly related to a range of antisocial outcomes. substance abuse doesn’t have to start post-breakup. it can start before the breakup as well, when you start getting the feeling of being neglected, ignored, etc. when feeling lonely and anxious, many people unfortunately resort to substances.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

After an emotional breakup ptsd , or post traumatic stress disorder, is really common.Especially if you had gotten cheated on. having trust issues and being extremely paranoid could be symptoms of ptsd. Excessive flashbacks are typical as well.


This is usually the last and most satisfying stage. After so much grief and emotional distress, you can finally breathe again. it’s an amazing sense of exhalation. However, it’s important to acknowledge your past and the difficulties you’ve been through. you became stronger over the period of time. you learned stuff about yourself that you maybe would have never learned. you realize that the breakup was simply a blessing in disguise all this while.  Then when you’re ready, you may or may not be interested in seeing other people. just a reminder that the ultimate goal is to be happy rather than just getting a ring on that finger or seeking entertainment.


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